Final draft of research paper # 2

Miguel Gonzalez
Professor Bogacka
Eng 101 0800
Nov.29 2010
Research paper # 2

Stay at Home Dads
Men are getting laid off every day because of our recent recession. According to Perry’s blog Carpe Diem the defective economy has left 1.9 million men jobless more than four times women which were 430,000 who were let go. Some had no option but to be full time stay at home dads. Is this a positive thing for men or negative? Think about it yeah men will get to spend more time with their children which can have many helpful affects on the child’s future according to research but what would society think of these men? Instead of working to bring the meat home for the wife to cook some men have perfected how to fold laundry and change diapers. These stay at home dads use to be construction workers, mechanics and many came from similar masculine occupations. That’s why I give my tip of the hat to these guys deciding to become full time daddy’s. These new stay at home dads is really like any other work, and there labor should be seen as equal to that of a stay at home mom. However, to the public or what Christine L. William’s calls the “outsiders view these men as failures due to them working in a nontraditional occupation” (221). Men that are stay at home dad’s are discriminated against, seen as unmanly and develop a low self esteem due to these stereotypes.
Why are stay at home dads discriminated? Well in general men are the ones who go hunting and bring home the bacon. We see this from the stone age to 1957 Joe Connelly Leave It to Beaver American family sitcom. Some people can’t realize that times are changing and what used to be traditional is not anymore. The reason why society feels a certain way of what men ought to do is because the media, old fashioned traditions and cultures have influence people. They’ve gone by what they’ve only known and sometime’s people can’t change their routine after so many years. What I don’t understand is how stay at home moms are seen as good mothers because of tradition. Yet if a man would play that role he most likely would be seen as lazy and an inconsiderate person for making his wife work. Why?, because he is man and by being so society expects certain obligations from them like automatically knowing how to check oil in a car or identifying the difference between a flat head and a Philips screwdriver.
It’s like tradition blind folds people and don’t let them think outside the box and because of this stereotypes are developed. Just like in the movie Daddy Daycare (2003) with Eddie Murphy and Jeff Garlin where two guys get laid off and have to become stay at home dad’s and are inspire to open their own daycare. In the movie his female competitors make fun of them and view them as loser’s since to them men didn’t know how to take care of children. It’s very realistic because some people can’t see men being warm ,charming and loving to children without someone thinking their pedophiles or homosexuals. At one point of the movie Eddie Murphy gives up on his goal (which is opening the daycare) and goes back to his old job due to his low self esteem. That’s why some men have doubts on what to choose for a career. I agree when Williams states, “Men are very distressed by these negative stereotypes, which tend to undermine their self esteem and to cause them to second-guess their motivations for entering these fields”(219). This is due to men thinking what society might see them as for having a traditional female occupation.
Now in the present we are seeing an increase in stay at home dads. Coltrane’s Fathering Paradoxes, Contradictions, and Dilemmas says “Although women have been the primary caretakers of young children in all cultures, fathers participation in child rearing has varied from virtually no direct involvement to active participation in all aspects of children’s routine care”(433). This is being seen all over the world and Sweden may be a glimpse of the future. The New York Times ran story on how a new masculinity is emerging in Spoland, Sweden. Where 85 percent of Swedish father take parental leave. If you don’t spend time with your kids you can be faced with question from family, friends and colleagues according to Katrin Bennhold. There are laws that have legislated to give women equal rights at work and men equal rights at home. Reserving at least two months of generously paid and 13 month parental leave exclusively for fathers. Bengt Westerber Deputy prime minister states, “ Men no longer want to be identified just by their jobs,” (4). This is a great thing because it has many positive effects on men and their relationship with their children. No longer will Dads be seen as only protectors, but also as friends or role models. Longitudinal Research shows that families with absence of father’s are most likely to go through negative adult outcomes. As well as, “ lower educational, occupational achievement, earlier childbirth , school dropout, health problems and behavior difficulties” (440). So being home can change a lot in a child’s future. This is very important and some families don’t realize it.
We can see why being a stay at home dad has its pros and cons. The media , tradition and culture are the reason why some men make the wrong decision on either being stay at home dads or looking for a job even if it’s not necessary. These men that have been laid off and are deciding to be stay at home dad’s are not getting the respect they should be. Even though many see it as nontraditional I continue to believe these men are doing a great job raising their kids. People that have a stereotype mentality have to stop thinking the way they do, and accept the changes society is little by little making, but if they continue they will make these stay at home dads feel uncomfortable in what they have to do. Today’s father should be seen as equal as mothers do when they stay at home. Even with all the bad things said about stay at home dad’s I feel they can have a great impact on their children’s life. That’s why the world should not criticize these hard working baby food smelling dads. I just don’t understand why is it so hard for a stay at home dad to get respect like stay at home moms do. Like I mentioned above society is beginning to make these changes slowly, and now it’s up to us to learn to adapt to these changes.