Draft of research Paper # 2 . Stay At Home Dads . Good or Bad?

Miguel Gonzalez
Professor Bogacka
Eng 101 0800
Nov.29 2010
Research paper # 2

Being a stay at home dad. Good or bad?
Men are getting laid off every day because of our recent recession. According to Perry’s blog Carpe Diem the defective economy has left 1.9 million men jobless more than four times women who let go 430,000. Some had no option but to be full time stay at home dad’s. Is this a positive thing for men or negative? Think about it yeah men will get to spend more time with their children which can have many helpful affects on the child’s future, but what would society think of those men? Instead of working to bring the meat home for women to cook some men have perfected how to fold laundry and change diapers. To the public or what Christine L. William’s calls the “outsiders” view these men as “failures” due to them working in a nontraditional occupation.(221) Men that are stay at home dad’s are discriminated against, and as seen unmanly and develop a low self esteem due to these stereotypes.
In general men are the one who go hunting and bring home the bacon. We see this from the stone age to 1957 Joe Connelly Leave It to Beaver American family sitcom. Some people can’t realize that times are changing and what used to be traditional is not anymore. The reason why society feels a certain way of what men ought to do is because the media, old fashioned traditions and cultures have many influences on people. They go by what they only known and sometime’s people can’t change their routine after so many years, but what we don’t understand is how stay at home moms are seen as good mother’s because of tradition. Yet if a man would play that role he most likely would be seen as lazy and an inconsiderate person for making his wife work. Why?, because he is man and by being a man society expects certain obligations from a man like knowing how to check oil in a car or knowing the different between a flat head and a Philips screwdriver.
It’s like tradition blind fold people and don’t let them think outside the box and because of this stereotypes are developed. Just like in the movie Daddy Daycare (2003) with Eddie Murphy and Jeff Garlin where two guys get laid off and have to become stay at home dad’s and are inspire to open their own daycare. In the movie his female competitors make fun of them and view them as loser’s since to them men didn’t know how to take care of children. It’s very realistic because some people can’t see men being warm ,charming and loving to children without someone thinking their pedophiles or homosexuals. At one point of the movie Eddie Murphy gives up on his goal (which is opening the daycare) and goes back to his old job due to his low self esteem. That’s why some men have doubts on what to choose for a career. Williams states, “Men are very distressed by these negative stereotypes, which tend to undermine their self esteem and to cause them to second-guess their motivations for entering these fields”(219). This is due to men thinking what society might see them as for having a traditional female occupation.
Now in the present we are seeing an increase in stay at home dads. Coltrane’s Fathering Paradoxes, Contradictions, and Dilemmas says “Although women have been the primary caretakers of young children in all cultures, fathers participation in child rearing has varied from virtually no direct involvement to active participation in all aspects of children’s routine care”(433). This is being seen all over the world and Sweden may be a glimpse of the future. The New York Times ran story on how a new masculinity is emerging in Spoland, Sweden. Where 85 percent of Swedish father take parental leave. If you don’t spend time with our kids you can be faced with question from family, friends and colleagues according to Katrin Bennhold. There are laws that have legislated to give women equal rights at work and men equal rights at home. Reserving at least two months of generously paid, 13 month parental leave exclusively for fathers. “ Men no longer want to be identified just by their jobs,” said Bengt Westerber Deputy prime minister. This is a great thing because it has many positive effects on men and their relationship with their children. No longer will Dad’s be seen as only protectors but also as friend or a role model. Longitudinal Research shows that families with absence of father’s are most likely to go through negative adult outcomes ( lower educational, occupational achievement, earlier childbirth , school dropout, health problems and behavior difficulties). (440) So being home can change a lot in a child’s future. This is very important and some families don’t realize it.
We can see why being a stay at home dad has its pros and cons. The media both visual and print ,tradition and culture are the reason why some men make the wrong decision on either staying home or looking for a job even if it’s not necessary. These men that have been laid off and are deciding to be stay at home dad’s are not getting the respect they should be. The stereotypes have to stop because it can make stay at home dads feel uncomfortable doing what they have to do. Today’s father should be as equal as mother’s are at home. Even with all the bad things said about stay at home dad’s I feel they can have a great impact on their children’s life. That’s why the world should not criticize these hard working baby food smelling dads. I just don’t understand why is it so hard for a stay at home dad to get respect like stay at home moms? They say men always have an advantage over women but honestly do you think this is true?